How to Support a Loved One With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays and Beyond

Written by: Angela Derrick, Ph.D. & Susan McClanahan, Ph.D.

Date Posted: December 5, 2024 6:00 am

How to Support a Loved One With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays and Beyond

Featuring special guest writer: SpringSource’s own Alison (Ali) Mayer, NCC, LCPC

As we approach the holiday season, we should acknowledge that not everyone is excited and looking forward to the holiday. For some, it can be a stressful time, especially for those who struggle with an eating disorder. With that in mind, it is important to educate yourself and others on ways to support a loved one with an eating disorder. For instance, it’s vital to understand that an eating disorder is about more than just food. Eating disorders are considered a mental health diagnosis and a medical condition, due to being more complex than a weight and food issue alone. Below are some useful dos and don’ts to help guide you in helping a loved one. 

The Don’ts:

1)       “You look so healthy.” (A comment like this can be invalidating to someone with an eating disorder.)

2)       “Looks like you lost weight.” (This comment brings awareness to weight, and the loved one might feel uncomfortable with this recognition, leading to a desire to lose even more weight.)

3)       “It is just food.” (Eating disorders are a lot more than just food.)

4)       “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder.” (This comment invalidates the loved one, and they might question what others have told them about having an eating disorder.)

5)       “You gained weight; that is great.” (A loved one might feel triggered by a comment like this.)

6)       “Why can’t you just eat?” (Again, eating disorders are about more than just food.)

7)       “What happened to all the food I bought?” (This can bring shame to a loved one with an eating disorder.)

The Dos:

1)       Focus on a loved one’s inner beauty or talents vs. putting focus on physical appearance.

2)       Avoid talking about calories, weight, diets, and what you did and did not eat during the day.

3)       Try not to focus on food or comment about what a loved one is eating.

4)       Be a sounding board for a loved one; let them know you are available to talk if needed. 

5)       Ask a loved one how you can be supportive in their recovery. 

6)       Engage in some holiday activities that don’t involve food.

7)       Model healthy eating and body neutrality yourself!

These are just the beginning of ways that you can try to support a loved one with an eating disorder. For additional help, feel free to schedule a family or individual therapy session with an eating disorder specialist at SpringSource Psychological Center.

Contact SpringSource

Phone: 224-202-6260 | Email: info@springsourcecenter.com | Initial Consultation: We offer free 15-minute initial consultations—schedule here.

Additional Help:  List of Free Resources

Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders (F.E.A.S.T.)

Eating Disorder Support Groups

Caregiver or Sibling Support Group

Project HEAL: Free Eating Disorder Support Groups

National Alliance For Eating Disorders: Helping a Loved One